Invite a forgiving spirit

Jesus is most serious about our willingness to forgive others. He devoted more instruction on this area of our praying than any other. Verses 12, 14, and 15 are devoted to it. If there is one area of prayer we must dedicate ourselves to, it is this one. The teaching is explicit and clear, if we are unwilling to forgive, we will not be forgiven. A more serious point can’t be made.

In Matthew 18, Jesus explained the principle with a story about a man who was forgiven a million dollar debt only to turn and enforce strict payment of a thousand-dollar debt that was owed to him. When the original owner of the debt learned about it, he was forced to repay the million-dollar debt. Do the spiritual math and know we cannot afford to be like that man. Failure to forgive means spiritual bankruptcy.

Won’t people take advantage of our unwillingness to enforce justice? The answer is a definite yes. Of course, they will. Darkness certainly took advantage of Jesus’ silence and lack of defensive strategy. Jesus could very clearly have avoided the stab of darkness on the cross. In the end, our trust isn’t in the justice of humanity or history. Our confidence is in God who is able to turn what was meant for evil into good. God is able to turn an apparent disadvantage (Jesus’ death on the cross) into something of great value and good for us. He is still inventing good from evil circumstances on a daily basis.

It is God who demonstrated the ability to turn Paul’s “messenger of Satan to torment” and use it to create humility and strength for the Kingdom. It is our God who does the same with the evil intentions of others toward us.

God demands that we not repay evil with evil but instead with good. He commands that in return for the evil we offer kindness. Many are shocked at the instruction of Jesus to “turn the other cheek.” But obedience in forgiveness goes beyond the offer of another cheek to strike. We are instructed to meet the ongoing needs of our enemies. That’s a big calling and I won’t pretend to understand it all or to remotely have practiced it well. This may be our most advanced lesson to learn as pupils in Christlikeness. This passage in Romans 12 promotes us out of the easy pre-K class and enrolls us in impossible Ph.D. level studies:

Romans 12:17-20 NLT

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. [18] Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. [19] Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD. [20] Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”

God says unforgiveness, payback, and revenge belong to Him alone. These are God’s exclusive property. He states firmly that He wants these for Himself. He will not share His revenge with us. It is our job to leave Him the opportunity for payback.

Not only are revenge and payback His property, but God may also discard them at any time. Understand this: God is in love with our enemies. God loves that person who did you harm. He longs to restore that person and forgive their offense toward you. He is not willing for that person to perish even though the offense was great. The revenge we look for may have been executed in the flesh of our Savior. Instead of punishing them (as they deserve), He may redeem them, accept them and even promote them as He wishes. Forgiveness drives us to not only put away our right to even the score but to adopt God’s attitude of longing for their reconciliation. The forgiveness that is impossible to us is commonplace in the regal heart of our God.

I want us to consider another possibility. It is likely that God has used the offender to teach us something. God has a long history of using evil to accomplish His holy purposes. Evil unwittingly participates in good. Evil would resist but remains unaware. God has and continues to use the evil performed against us to teach His people traits like humility and patience. We learn lessons about patient endurance from insults. Does that mean then that God has used evil for the advantage of good? I believe He does. I believe God is working in every circumstance for my ultimate benefit. Especially the difficult ones.

There are some character lessons that can only be learned in difficult situations. It is foolish to think our children can be properly trained with awards separate from hardship. Whether the hardship is punitive or not, at some point, they must face consequences or hardship. Any loving parent will offer the gift of consequences to their children. A portion of tonight’s laundry of love was folded by a reluctant 7-year-old. Not for the sake of punishment but to learn how to be a productive family member. And what was at first a disappointment later turned into delight at being joined to the family progress. God also gives us the gift of difficult circumstances. Troubles are never pleasant but their rewards should entice us to face them. We are joined in our suffering to the sufferings of Christ and have the assurance and delight of being part of the family progress.

Forgiveness benefits the offended more than the offender. It is important that we forgive whether or not they ask and whether or not they deserve it. They don’t deserve it and few rarely ask. If you want grace, give grace. Give forgiveness in the manner you want to own God’s forgiveness. I believe honesty announces that we want God’s forgiveness instantly, repeatedly, and permanently.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. The ability to forget is not for humanity. God alone, possesses the ability to forget.

Isaiah 43:25 NLT

“I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.

Our individual sin against God is huge in comparison to the offense committed against us. I am daring to say that our lives have insulted God more than we have been insulted. I am also suggesting the difference is about one million compared to one thousand. If my math is correct, the ratio is about 1,000:1.

Do something bold and add your enemies to your prayer list. Make them the special object of prayer. Go long and hard at this one. Let your forgiveness be authentic and genuine. Then take it a step further and make attempts to treat enemies with special kindness. Treating them well gives us the assurance that we have moved beyond bitterness and back into loving them.